by - March 10, 2009 - - Comment Now »

mariondelioI am tired of being poor. And my biggest problem is that I like to pretend that I’m not. I call this “Imaginary Baller Syndrome” and I am certainly an imaginary baller (a guy who pulls out his credit card and buys for more than himself acting as if he has the funds to back up his purchases and is not actually just opposite-saving). Everyone keeps telling me that I will appreciate my eventual success more because of these times…Well, I’m ready to appreciate now dammit!

Anyway, the worst part of being poor nowadays is online banking. Instead of crying only when I get my paychecks or when I go to an ATM I now have the ability to constantly monitor my banking account. This becomes especially significant when I am on the verge of over-withdrawing my funds (a bi-weekly occurrence). Have you ever been about five hours from having a paycheck direct deposited and felt like the $1.67 left in your account will hold you over and you won’t over-withdraw? Yeah, me too.

The worst is when you feel that way and log-in one more time for good measure only to see -$20.33 on the screen. When this happens to me I generally scream out the name of the culprit…Mariondelio!

Mariondelio is a filipino boy I sponsor. His family earns only $22 a month so I decided to double it. A relatively small number that I decided to have automatically withdrawn from my account on a monthly basis. Thus it is one I generally forget to account for and one that punches my bank account right in the stomach at the most inopportune moments.

And the worst part about it is that I can’t help but picture little Mariondelio running around tossing money in the air in that poor little country of his. Maybe he has taken my $22 a month and built a golden water slide that leads from his roof to the new granite pool in the backyard that his family had built since they are now the wealthiest family in their neighborhood. It is at these moments that I feel like answering one of his letters to me (he will generally write a short thank you for saving me from insufferable poverty note with a picture of Spiderman or something drawn in crayon at the bottom) with a note of my own saying, “Guess what Mariondelio. It is just a loan. And I do charge interest.”

Or maybe I should just tough it out so I can appreciate it later.

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