by - April 2, 2009 - - Comment Now »

plutoLet me start by saying that I am a big fan of science. For some reason I am more apt to believe in research and evidence than a collection of fairy tales and a reincarnated carpenter. My only problem with science is when it corrects itself and destroys the staples of my childhood, namely, Pluto, the Brontosaurus and the Food Pyramid.

How am I supposed to accept the fact that the Brontosaurus did not exist and that Pluto is no longer a planet? Don’t these scientists realize that I used to play Brontosaurus on Pluto? And once they found this out why didn’t they just change the name of Apatosaurus to Brontosaurus. Who in the hell (blasphemy) cares about the Apatosaurus? And what about that acronym for our solar system that they used to hammer into our heads? “My very educated mother just served us nine pizzas.” I should have known that was B.S. What kind of educated mother would serve kids nine pizzas? Which brings me to the Food Pyramid…

They even posted that stupid thing in the school cafeteria. If you ate according to the Food Pyramid you’d be built like one. 6-11 servings of bread or pasta and 3 servings of milk or cheese? Sounds more like Kirstie Alley’s lunch than a healthy diet.

I pray to God that they don’t go after Roy G. Biv next. (Oh wait, they already did. Damn them.)

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