Steroids and Sponge Dinosaurs

by - June 24, 2009 - - Comment Now »

steroidsYou know those sponge dinosaurs that grow when you put them in water? Do you remember what happens to them a little while later? They shrink back down and shrivel up. I would know, I was playing with some just the other day. A sponge T-Rex and Triceratops battle is even less exciting than it sounds. This reminds me of what happens to baseball players when they get off of performance enhancing drugs (By the way, shouldn’t we come up with a new title for these? Could anything sound more positive?).

Mark McGwire went from monster to finished. Same with Sammy Sosa, Eric Gagne, and seemingly countless other guys who were known or suspected juicers. It is for this reason that I would be more than mildly concerned if I was a die-hard Yankees fan because Alex Rodriguez is pulling a David Ortiz. He can’t hit. He can barely swing the bat. And he looks less broad across the shoulders. These facts, along with his association with a steroid-linked trainer and allegations of use while he was in high school, lead me to suspect that he was using a lot longer than he lets on. This makes his recent swoon particularly troubling.

The good news with A-Rod is that his struggles could be chalked up to his hip injury coupled with an unusually long funk. And he is clearly the type of guy whose mental state impacts his physical performance. So maybe he will snap out of it. Still, you don’t want to have 8 years and over $200 million committed to Popeye without his spinach.

Here’s hoping that A-Rod isn’t a sponge dinosaur. Imagine how he’d hit in the postseason then…

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