by admin - July 29, 2009 - - Comment Now »
Is there a less important thing that feels more like a life or death situation than trying to make the next train on the subway? I would sell my soul just to get one arm through the doors before they close, especially in the summer. Waiting on the platform in the heat is worse than working overseas for Nike or Martha Stewart in the mid-nineties.
The problem with the emphasis I put on making the next train is that it causes me to think evil thoughts. Have you ever had someone stop in front of you on the subway steps for no apparent reason? Even worse is when that person is absurdly obese and they just stand there right in the middle, complete with a confused look plastered on face. If you need to be confused, be confused at the top of the stairs. Your decision on what to eat for your next meal is not going to be any tougher a few strides up. At that moment dropping them with the Stone Cold Stunner seems perfectably reasonable.
I don’t feel so bad about feeling that way. What I do feel bad about is feeling the same way toward the elderly people who are not prepared to ride the train. I understand that you are too frail to walk at a reasonable pace but that doesn’t mean you can’t have your subway card ready upon your inevitable arrival. Why risk one of the remaining moments you have left on earth rummaging through your purse while simulataneously causing me to miss the train? If you need help, just ask. I will gladly swipe your card for you and carry you up the stairs so that we both make it on time. “What a nice young man!”
I apologize for the thoughts expressed in this blog. I promise I am exaggerrating for effect. I would elaborate but I have a train to catch.
Tags: blog, random thoughts, the subway
