Usain Bolt

by - August 20, 2009 - - 1 Comment »

usain_resizedMEEP! MEEP! That is what Usain Bolt should say right before the start of every race. That dude is a cartoon character and is not receiving nearly enough attention.

One of my favorite things, if not my favorite, about sports is watching the truly freakish athletes. You know, the guy who can make your mouth drop in awe, whether it is LeBron flying down the court and slamming it on three guys or Barry Sanders leaving a would be tackler hopelessly frozen. Usain Bolt is one of those guys (I will ignore the steroid speculation. Sure everyone in track can be suspected but I would prefer to believe he is clean. And who cares if he is on something? What he is doing is still awesome).

He dusts the opposition by such a large margin that his next race might be the first time I literally witness somebody eating someone else’s dust. They might as well bring a spoon or a straw, whatever you eat dust with. There is a chance he disappears because his top speed may just open up a portal in time.

Bolt deserves some more love in the media (I haven’t even mentioned that his name is Usain Bolt yet! What did he do to get that name? Sprint out of the womb and set a world record for shortest labor time?). If a golfer is nauseatingly lauded for an approach shot than Bolt should surely receive the same treatment for being the fastest human being who has ever lived, by far.

Usain Bolt is a beast. “LORD ‘AVE MERCY!”

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One Response to “Usain Bolt”

  1. admin says:

    Imagine Bolt in the NFL. He could start 25 yards in the back field and build up enough momentum to smash guys into retirement.

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