Movie Ratings–How Much Would I Have To Be Paid?

by - September 25, 2009 - - 6 Comments »

love happensI have come up with a new movie ratings system. How much would you have to pay me to go see a particular movie?

I don’t think I can overstate how much I dread seeing certain movies. The mental preparation such an experience entails is tremendous. I cry inside. Hard. On the flip side, there are movies I loved so much that I would have retroactively paid above the face value of the ticket had I known I would enjoy them so much. Here are some examples of the system (food and drink are included and you never know when you might be pleasantly surprised; I actually enjoyed 13 Going On 30 when I was forced to see it).

Pay me $500: Pride and Prejudice (1995)–I hated the book and this had a runtime of 300 minutes. Prediction=Absolute torture. I might rather be waterboarded for a full 45 seconds.

Pay me $200: Love Happens (2009)–A love story featuring the absolutely generic Jennifer Aniston and Two-Face. 109 minute runtime lowers the price.

Pay me $150: The Time Traveler’s Wife (2009)–I would wish I was the time traveler the second I walked into the theater. Rachel McAdams is a good actress.

Pay me $100: Madea’s Family Reunion (2006)–I have never seen a Tyler Perry movie. I would see my first for $100.

Pay me $50: Jennifer’s Body (2009)–If this was starring Kathy Bates instead of Megan Fox it would fall into the Love Happens category.

Pay me $20: Sorority Row (2009)–Looks fairly entertaining and fairly terrible.

I pay $25: Inglorious Basterds and District 9 (2009)–I loved both of these flicks and they were worth more than the price of admission (which is about $25 nowadays).

I pay $50: The Big Lebowski (1998), Billy Madison (1995), Team America (2004) and others–Personal classics that have stood the test of time. Almost priceless ($50).

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6 Responses to “Movie Ratings–How Much Would I Have To Be Paid?”

  1. Girlfriend says:

    correction – u choose to watch 13 going on 30 the last 6 times you saw it

  2. Brian says:

    Good call on the Tyler Perry movies. I could probably list an endless number of movies to add on… but I’ll just name a few.

    How about those spoof movies? Like; Meet the Spartans, Date Movie, Epic Movie, etc.

    Also, pretty much anything Dane Cook’s in.

  3. Lundberg says:

    Brian, You are right, those things are like made in a factory or something. Dane Cook is a great anti-comedian. How are things?

  4. Brian says:

    Eh, things have been a little up and down… but I’m doing pretty good now. I’m in my senior year, so almost done.

    I haven’t listened to 1050 much since Max’s show went of the air, but you’re still there right? I know I heard you a couple times on that Around the Herd segment… but that was a while ago.

    Site’s awesome btw. Trying to think of things to contribute to the G.O.A.T. section too, but you and your commenters have covered mostly everything.

  5. Matt R. says:

    I’m not gonna lie, I saw Love Happens last night and it wasn’t that terrible. Partly because there wasn’t as much romance as I’d have thought there was gonna be.

    And seeing Two-Face try and help people with their sorrows was underratedly (is that a word?) funny.

  6. Lundberg says:

    Matt, I wish I could say I believe you. Pay me $200 and I’ll double check.

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