Animal Attacks

by - September 28, 2009 - - Comment Now »

animalattacks*I flipped over to Animal Planet during the Colts blowout last night and sure enough there was an animal attack show on. I think it was called “When Animals Strike” and featured a buck kicking the dumb out of some red neck (that is a lot of kicking) who was stupid enough to spray deer urine on himself in an attempt to attract deer. His plan was a great success and the result was even greater. It made me want to rewrite an old blog about animal attacks. I didn’t. But I did re-up it. Please enjoy as I revel in my laziness and fantasize about running away from an alligator using the zig-zag method. “Your short legs cannot handle my twists and turns gator!”*

Shows featuring animals attacking humans must get very high ratings because they are always on. And I must admit, I usually watch. Shark attacks surfer, I watch. Mountain lion attacks biker, I watch. Spider bites housewife, I watch. But why (other than the awesome, ferocious, beasts involved that is)?

Is it because going in you know the person survived and you’d like to think you’d survive in a similar situation? For some reason I always think I would have the wherewithal to poke a shark in the eye or rip at its gills if it attacked me (more likely is me screaming like a girl as it spits out my fibula). Or is the extreme nature of the event, something that you may fear but would never expect to happen, that makes it so interesting? Or is it simply that animals are cool?

I have no idea where I am going with this and you all are probably hoping that an elephant steps on me and breaks my computer at this point. Don’t worry, I’ll stop. I think there is a show about parasites eating people’s brains coming on…

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