Casting Call: Spiderman and X-Men

by - January 27, 2010 - - 6 Comments »

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If you haven’t heard yet, they are recasting Spiderman. This provided Ray C. and I an opportunity to play casting director. We also went ahead and did X-Men too (It is time for them to reboot that franchise as well).

With Spiderman we decided to go with Venom and Carnage as the villains. That story deserves to be done right. Here is our cast…

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Topher Grace as Peter Parker: Yes, he was in Spiderman 3. We will not hold that against him. He was cast in the wrong role. Our Spidey needs to crack wise. Topher (ha, his name is Topher) can handle that and he has the proper look and build.

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Danneel Harris as Mary Jane: She is a relative unknown. The only thing I have seen her in is “Harold and Kumar: Escape From Guantanamo Bay”. But she looks exactly like Mary Jane should and it is about time that an attractive person plays that role. Plus, you don’t really have to be able to act to do it.

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Hellen Mirren as Aunt May: I don’t know that many old actresses.

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J. Jonah Jameson as J.K. Simmons: He was perfect. No need for a change.

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Gerard Butler as Venom: Roles like “Law Abiding Citizen” have prepped him to play Eddie Brock. “P.S. I Love You,” not so much. He has also proven he can get the build with movies like “300.” By the way, “300” was awful. It would have made a good music video. As a movie, it was a soulless, homo-erotic mess.

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Michael C. Hall as Carnage: He needs to play insane. He can do that. At least according to the handful of people I know who swear by “Dexter.”

I have a feeling they may be going the “Twilight” route with the webslinger (You just got webslung!). That would be a mistake. All you have to do is recast, forget retelling the origin and make a good flick with more humor and less sap.

xmenGROUPWith the X-Men our ideal team is Professor X, Cyclops, Wolverine, Jean Grey, Storm, Colossus, Nightcrawler, Beast and Kitty Pryde. Magneto has to be the villain (we could’ve thrown in other supplementary guys but we didn’t have all day to do this)…

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Patrick Stewart as Professor X: The greatest casting call in the history of comic book movies. When I was eight, I used to cast X-Men movies all the time. He was always Charles Xavier.

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Matt Damon as Cyclops: He will nail Scott Summers’ leadership qualities and no nonsense persona. Plus, I can picture him donning the visor.

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Melanie Laurent as Jean Grey: Maybe the most important role. I loved her in “Inglorious Basterds.”

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Josh Brolin as Wolverine: My mom will kill me for not saying to keep Hugh Jackman (she is in love with him). However, Logan may never recover from that last Wolverine movie. Brolin has the acting chops and can pull off tough and scrappy to a tee. We have our Wolvie.

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Zoe Saldana as Storm: She has become a sci-fi maven. She is perfect for Ororo Monroe. Not quite as good looking as Halle Berry but she’ll make up for that by being less stale on screen.

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Philip Seymour Hoffman as Beast: With special effects of course. But he would rule as Hank McCoy. The voice and delivery would be spot on and a good writer will give him material to chew on.

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Sean Patrick Flanery as Nightcrawler: Ray recommended him. I have never seen him before but I can picture it. Just make him look like a demonic elf and have him work on a German accent.

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Daniel Cudmore as Colossus: We’ll keep him. He had the look and is the right age. He just needs to work on a Russian accent.

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Michelle Trachtenberg as Kitty Pryde: She has experience and can certainly play the youngest member of the team. Cute and vulnerable all in one.
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Daniel Day Lewis as Magneto: Yes, he is the cliche villain. He is also the best. Kudos to Ian McKellan, he did a nice job. But at this point he is too old. We need a real thespian for this part. D.D.L. is as real as it gets.

There you have it. The new casts for Spiderman and X-Men. Unfortunately, we are working on a budget of under $500. I don’t think we’ll be able to make it independently. Nerd session completed…

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6 Responses to “Casting Call: Spiderman and X-Men”

  1. Justin C says:

    Yeap Topher would be a good choice.

  2. marv albert says:

    kirsten dunst IS hot. she has an amazing body.

  3. lundberg says:

    Kirsten Dunst is like the girl next door but on crack and with messed up teeth.

  4. lundberg's mom says:

    i am in love with my boyfriend hugh jackman but he would be too old for your remake as is josh brolin. i recommend jeremy renner from the hurt locker. in case there are sequels in your world he is the right age, totally hot and a great actor. might you consider jackie earle haley for a part, possibly nightcrawler, instead of sean patrick flanery. he does wonders in mediocre parts like the one he currently has on human target. and i think ben affleck makes a better cyclops. he has that superhero face and it gives you the perfect opportunity to write a team america joke …

  5. lundberg's mom says:

    p.s. i swear by dexter. michael c hall is amazing. speedy recovery.

  6. Justin C says:

    Everytime i see Kirstin Dunst’s face i think about that little girl from little miss sunshine. It is rather freaky..

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